Have Faith!

After a 4 hour drive through the night, my friends, Neil & Lindsey and Shane & Melinda and I arrived back in Fargo-Moorhead. Just before 5am. On a Sunday. With all of us in charge of leading worship at our respective churches early in the morning. Why?

We attended a day at the Lifelight Music Festival in Worthing (close to Sioux Falls), SD, and it was amazing. Hearing the Gospel never gets old. Being convicted of sin, pride and fear is refreshing and challenging. Encouragement through music and musicians fills one’s tank to go on to the next thing. And getting to witness Francis Chan & his message was…well…amazing. Praise God! He used this and the messages from the bands (namely Reilly, Sanctus Real, and Tenth Avenue North) to soften my heart for the work He is doing in me.

Hebrews 11:1 states, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

I was deeply convicted at this festival as I was conversing with friends from one of the bands. They asked me how my plans to move to Nashville were shaping up, if I had a place to live and where, and if I had any gigs lined up. As I explained where I was living, again SO grateful to God for his awesome provision, I allowed myself to let the faithlessness thing slip through.

I said, “The location is amazing because it is less than 5 miles from 3 different school districts. That way, I can always substitute teach.” To which I received the response, “Is it your goal to teach there?”

Um…No. It’s not. Not at all.

Oof. You see, I have been working in my head- which tends to seep into the heart- ways to explain my move while seeming “wise.” I have rehearsed and rehearsed this same response and practiced it on many of my colleagues, students and even church members. It is almost as if I have emphasized my “plan B” over my “plan A” because “plan A” requires absolute surrender and trust in God to lead and provide. And THAT, my friends, is difficult to explain.

Unless you are speaking face-to-face with someone who is living “plan A” every day of their lives.

It is speaking to this person that makes “plan B” complete and utter foolishness. After all, if God is calling me to music ministry in Nashville, what makes me think He won’t follow through? Why am I afraid of not having enough when the call is to surrender everything? Why do I think I need to cover my tracks with expectations and suppositions that God can’t do the work through me that I quit my job and am leaving my home to be available to do? As in- I better make sure I don’t look foolish because God can’t or won’t. Because certainly. I CAN.

How arrogant and faithless is that?

Where do I get off with this thinking upon entering MINISTRY?

How will I ever know God’s strength when I decide not to lean on Him?

How will I ever have a testimony worth sharing if I have never truly had to trust Him and act faithfully myself?

What hypocrisy to proclaim the Good News publically as a musician, yet not live a sincere and broken response to that very message?

I am in the midst of addressing these things in my heart and trusting the Holy Spirit to change my heart to be fully committed to and in love with Him. Take away my pride, arrogance and fear so I may live fearlessly in the light of the Gospel. I want nothing hindering God’s work in and through me. May my testimony be that of faith and power to those who need to hear about God. God, use me. Might I become a catalyst of the sharing of your Gospel for the saving of many. Amen.