Freedom!

So, lots of funny things have happened recently.  Let's begin, shall we?

We left off with my move.  I struggled at first and stepped forward in blind obedience with a protesting heart.  Now, I stand more blessed than I could imagine and on firmer spiritual ground.

Funny how obedience and faith work together like that.  Oh, I am thankful!

Here's how it went down:  I sent the message on a Thursday saying my other plans weren't going to work and I still needed a place to live. I moved in that Monday, with the help of friends.  Tues.-Thurs. I dog-sat at a friend's house, and Friday I began the long drive to Fargo, ND, stopping in Bellevue, NE to stay the night.  I was still feeling uneasy and had not even unpacked in my new abode.

Staying with my friends in NE was the best thing that could have happened.  You see, I was met face-to-face with people who know and have known me for many years.  We love each other like family and rejoice in each other's presence and quirks.  There is no pretense.  There is only respect, truth and the joy of freedom in fellowship.  Oh, how I needed to be reminded of this.

Upon reaching Fargo, more of the same. 


Then, I had lunch with my very dear friend Melinda.  Over our 8 years of knowing one another, there have only been a couple of instances where we have felt the Holy Spirit move to tell the other something specific.  That day, we both heard something.  I can't speak for Mel, but what she told me helped to change my heart about something huge- within hours.  By the time I went to bed that night, I was free of this big thing that I had held on to for far too long and had been weighing me down in an even bigger way.

Free! 

And ready to hear from God about something new.

And I did!  What happened over the rest of my vacation was awesome.  Even an injured ankle was turned into a blessing. My brother and I shared some great experiences.  Now he has gone back home, and I am beginning new routines in my new house in Nashville. 

God is so good :)

Renaissance

I moved.  Not from Nashville.  In fact, I moved TO Nashville.  Allow me to explain:

Since I moved from Fargo, ND, I have resided in a small town south of Nashville, enjoying a rather scenic commute to and from the big city.  Just over two weeks ago, my roommate/landlord told me of plans for family needing to move in, thus leaving me with a choice:  To find a new place before they come and settle in or to stay and endure the many changes.

At first, I did not want to leave.  With so much in other areas of my life being up in the air or falling apart in various ways, I considered the house a blessing of peace and familiarity in the midst of chaos.  A safe haven.  My home.

So, I prayed.  Hard.  And God changed my heart.  No, I did not want to leave, but I understood it was best if I left and allowed the family dynamics to play out as they need to without me.  I saw the potential for being more of a hindrance than a helper.

God also provided me a place to live, quite miraculously, with friends in Nashville (Antioch, actually, but basically Nashville).  It is an awesome place in a great location and even has a touch of the country feel, at least on the drive there.  My roommates/landlords are friends I met through church and some of the most fun, friendly, genuine people you will ever meet!  There is no doubt of God's hand and blessing.

My struggle, however, is how much I miss "home."  That house in the country with wild blackberries, fields and hills, horses and cows, fireflies and stars, neighbors you can rely on, and a roommate who enjoys putting on a good party as much as I do.

I want to go back.

But I can't. Not at this point.

I'm floating with nothing to grab hold of but God.  But maybe that is how it is supposed to be.  Something to grow me into who I was designed to be so I can serve the purpose I was made for.  Once again, my mom had a few profound words of wisdom...  She said,"You've been in that place for nine months.  Birth happens after nine months.  Perhaps you are being reborn into something new or a new stage of life."  A Renaissance, of sorts.  I always did like that era...