In the Middle of the Night

It's 2am, and I am lying in bed awake. This has been happening regularly over the past few months. It's not really insomnia. I fall asleep for a few hours and wake up, usually after a dream of sorts. I eventually fall asleep again until my alarm wakes me up in the morning.

While I don't quite understand why my body has to leave its wonderfully restful state, this middle of the night time has become the location for some intense spiritual battle. It is when I am often confronted by lies about my worth and shame from sin (Satan is ever the accuser). It is also when my deepest heart-desires rise to the surface and the wrestling between fear and trust becomes greatly pronounced.

There is so much temptation in this life to put focus or trust in something good...that isn't Jesus. God is, thankfully, a jealous God, refusing to be second in our lives. HE is what is best for us because only HE can fulfill those deep heart-desires and heal our brokenness.

As the song goes:

Lord, I need You,
Oh, I need You.
Every hour I need You.
My one defense,
My righteousness,
Oh, God, how I need You.

Tennessee SixMonthiversary!!!!

Good morning, friends!

I arrived in Nashville, TN on Tuesday, September 27th-six months ago today. It is a great day for praise and reflection. Here is a stream-of-consciousness-style list of thoughts over the past half year, followed by prayer, praise and goals for the next six months (Lord willing). Thanks for walking this journey with me! It is appreciated more than you know!

Reflections/Praise:

* I came here on faith, and God has provided for ALL of my needs. I have two jobs (that actually pay the bills), and they are both opportunities to minister through my music and become a better musician overall.

* The only health-related issues I have had were a cold when I arrived and a bit of heart-sickness (more spiritual than physical...) in January. Allergies have been virtually nonexistent, which is a first!

* I have been blessed with an absolutely perfect, beautiful, central place to live, allowing me equal and easy access to Nashville and Huntsville, AL. Besides a small oil plug issue a week ago and two routine oil changes, my car has remained totally reliable.

* I have been given this awesome gift of time. Never before have I had such an opportunity to press into God, wrestle with my own sin nature, and be able to offer of myself- even if just via phone calls to friends far away needing prayer and companionship.

Goals/Prayer:

~ It is at this time, God has been surrounding me with new friends. I pray that I can build these people up at all times using who God uniquely made me to be- and be open to their encouragement as well. I pray for authenticity, transparency and trust. I desire to be a blessing to all who enter my home and my life.

~ After April, I will no longer have the Huntsville Symphony gig, at least for the summer months. It is my prayer for new jobs (specifically performance-oriented) to open up for the summer.

~ Also financially-related: I am in the midst of doing my taxes for 2011. Pray for wisdom, motivation and attention to detail...It would also be nice to get a sizable refund to help cover summer expenses :)

~ I am getting closer to participating in worship at my church in TN. This is more of a heart-thing than a career goal. As I dive deeper with these people, the more I long to add my voice (or rather, violin) to worship. Pray that the time comes soon and that I will be ready to join them.

~ Pray for continued spiritual and personal growth.

~ Pray for wisdom with use of time, talents and treasure. That all would be for the glory of God.

~ Pray for joy and heavenly perspective when the going gets tough. I've had a few very hard days and moments as of late. HE, however, has overcome the world! It's easy to forget at times...

I leave you with a lovely reminder of covenant and promise in my beautiful state of Tennessee. Thank you for reading. Please pray and let me know how I can pray for you!
<3 Kelly