The truth about goodbyes

Hello.

As I mentioned in The Hard Things, I have been called to a new place with a new purpose, and that means saying goodbye to the old place. This is painful.

Today I told another student I was leaving. I also got together with the person who was hired to be my replacement to fill her in on the job she will be doing this school year. This is heart-wrenching.

Leaving is something I've never experienced. When people become Christians as adults, they seem to have an old life vs. new life change. I believed when I was five. It has been a process- gradual, not sudden. When I "left" for college, that was the norm, no matter where you went. You were expected to leave. And I basically stayed when I left, because I went across the river for school. After college, I came right back. Now that I have had a "good" job, it is expected that I stay, yet I am leaving.

Temptation: To feel like I made a mistake. To stay in Fargo. To refrain from severing any ties to this area. To apologize for leaving. To say I'm "trying it" for a year and I might be back. To beg for my job back. To not tell anyone else, lest I cause them pain too. To become scared and distracted and not fulfill my purpose in TN.

But that would be wrong to act on those. God has made it clear, and I need not please anyone (including myself) but Him. I am His vessel, and my purpose is simply how He chooses to use me. Right now, I need to be used by Him in Nashville. Maintaining life in Fargo as I know it will hinder me from doing the task at hand. I knew it wouldn't be easy. But it will be worth it. And no apology is needed.

In addition, God uses some people's goodbyes to open doors for other people. The person who will be replacing me is strikingly...like...me. She needed a job, and God provided an opportunity for her. My leaving meant good for her. It will mean new beginnings for my students. New opportunities for those who need. And maybe, someday, I will find a new opportunity to serve because God called someone to leave. This is his blessing. I am not leaving and going toward nothing. I am obeying the call, trusting that I am moving toward something.