It's 2am, and I am lying in bed awake. This has been happening regularly over the past few months. It's not really insomnia. I fall asleep for a few hours and wake up, usually after a dream of sorts. I eventually fall asleep again until my alarm wakes me up in the morning.
While I don't quite understand why my body has to leave its wonderfully restful state, this middle of the night time has become the location for some intense spiritual battle. It is when I am often confronted by lies about my worth and shame from sin (Satan is ever the accuser). It is also when my deepest heart-desires rise to the surface and the wrestling between fear and trust becomes greatly pronounced.
There is so much temptation in this life to put focus or trust in something good...that isn't Jesus. God is, thankfully, a jealous God, refusing to be second in our lives. HE is what is best for us because only HE can fulfill those deep heart-desires and heal our brokenness.
As the song goes:
Lord, I need You,
Oh, I need You.
Every hour I need You.
My one defense,
My righteousness,
Oh, God, how I need You.
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