After not two weeks in the Nashville area, I am back in my home town of Fargo, ND. This brings up a world of feelings and realizations that are brand new to me.
First of all, there is the concept of "home." Where is home now? I have moved to Nashville, but do not yet have all of my life established there. I am back in Fargo for just over a week, and it is more than easy to slip into the old routine again with family, friends and work. The only thing is... I don't live here anymore.
There is also the issue of "closure." While I don't think it is absolutely necessary to close all doors in my hometown, it is pertinent that I close some, going on little more than faith that streamlining my goals will yield greater results in the direction I want to go. In other words, a little backup is fine. Too much backup means I can't grow as much where I want to grow or as quickly (one has only so many resources). A risk is needed. Darn it all. I need to get out of this boat!
So where do I find myself at this point? I see that for a short time, I am living parallel lives. I can jump from one to the other, but there will come a point, probably very soon, where I need to choose one 100%. All signs point to choosing Nashville, even though I still don't have a job. This is highly motivating, yet I am still afraid of disappointing- of meeting up with important people and letting them down by not being good enough. I shouldn't worry because I have a peace and reassurance from the Lord. End of discussion. There will be something if I take what I have been given and use it faithfully. In His way and His timing. After all, what do I have that has not been given to me?
With that, I'll conclude with lyrics to one of my favorite songs, period. "Your Love is Strong" by Jon Foreman (highlighting mine):
Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wrong me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one
I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I walk to the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day
So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need
Chorus (3x):
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?
Two things You told me
That You are strong
And You love me
Yes, You love me
(Chorus 4x)
Our God in heaven
Hallowed be Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons
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