First, an update, for those who are wondering about my Nashville life:
I am continuing to be blessed in Nashville, especially with opportunities to bless others. Violin-wise, I have been given the opportunity to sub in with the Huntsville Symphony Orchestra in Huntsville, Alabama. I enjoyed playing with the group that recorded "Woody's Round-Up" from the Toy Story movies and met several other musicians who helped point me toward other playing and ministry opportunities in the region. I am currently set to perform again with them this New Year's Eve. I feel that this is the tip of the iceberg and that God is using this opportunity to encourage me and prepare me for greater things.
In addition to this, I have continued to grow closer to my small group, and we have completed our first serve as a "village." My roommate and I also hosted a fantastic Christmas Party- a capacity in which I have ALWAYS wanted to serve, but never quite felt I had the resources to do so. Since I have arrived in Nashville, I have not felt want. I have been filled with all I have needed and more. I have more joy, peace and confidence than I have had at any other point in my life, and I pray I will experience much growth and more joy in this place.
And now to expand on the title of this post:
In recent days, many of those I love have been stricken by some terribly difficult and painful trials. One dear friend is in danger of losing his father to cancer. A couple I know had their beloved foster children taken from them on the basis of a misunderstanding, with no opportunity to plead their case because the state has custody. A family member is struggling to make ends meet for his wife and kids. My grandmother is in the hospital and may be for quite some time...as a best case scenario. One word comes to mind (ND and MN people will understand): UFFDA.
I am glad to be back in ND at this time so I can meet with many of these people and offer support and encouragement; to point them toward Christ, to God's unfailing love and the hope that trumps any trial we face on this earth.
I have come to believe I have been gifted with a joyful, resilient spirit, which is helpful in offering encouragement. My downfall comes not in the form of disbelief, but in sadness over the grief and hurt of those I love and desire greatly to lift up. While I may be able to lift them for a time, it is easy to grow weary as I attempt to shoulder their burden. I told my mom today at lunch that I wish I could be a sponge and absorb all of the hurt and fear my friends are feeling so they could be strong and I could be weak for them. So they could be free to feel the hope I feel for them. She promptly replied, "Kelly, that's why we have Jesus." True, mom. Very true.
In this moment, I am experiencing a heavy heart for all that is going on around me. In addition, unknown and changing plans are hitting me at my weak underbelly, also known as finances. My grandmother is not doing well, yet I am tempted to worry about the lessons I may have to cancel in order to see her. Crazy. As if I don't know that God knows how to provide for me financially...
This brings me to my friend, Lisa, the microbiology expert. She told me about quorum sensing abilities. Essentially, microbes in the body may be numerous and spread out, but do absolutely nothing. They can talk to each other and sense that if they did not lie dormant, the body would overtake them. It is only upon reaching a quantity threshold in which they can do some actual damage that they come into action. Emotions and life situations are much like that. Not having jelly for my toast may not phase me today, but if it happens in light of lack of sleep and worrying about my relatives' well-being, it suddenly becomes a big deal- even bigger if I allow myself to react without thinking. Temptations also enter here and detrimental lies become believable.
So... two things to remember. A) Jesus is THE example of love and has taken our pain and suffering to the cross. He can relate to our trials, and is alive to prove that there is hope. B) The hope we cling to is eternal. We do not- we cannot- understand all of what God is weaving in our lives, but we can trust it has purpose, and that purpose is good. What we have in this life is important, but eternity is the only place we can store up treasure and not lose it. We are, in fact, made for the eternal, are we not? Where is your hope?
